Proverbs 21:18 says, “When there is no clear prophetic vision, people quickly wander astray.” Having clear prophetic vision is that #1 secret, and I am here to walk with you on your journey to clarity. Vision is the ability to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom, a mental image of what the future could look like, and the state of being able to see. As these definitions indicate, visualizing yourself with all the details of your future relationship is key to manifesting it in your life. When you have only a vague idea of what you desire in your soulmate relationship, you will attract and be attracted to many varying types of people or, worse yet, none at all.
What You Focus on GROWS!
Because of the vast amount of information we are inundated with, there is a part of our brain that is able to filter out unimportant information and focus on what we consider to be meaningful. This is called the reticular activating system, or RAS. If I ask you to close your eyes and focus on the color green, when you open your eyes you will take in information about everything that is the green, because that is what your mind has been focusing on. This pertains to most areas of our lives, and especially to that romantic soulmate relationship most people desire. I asked several people, “What are the top five qualities you are looking for in a soulmate?” Most of the time, the answers involve something they are not looking for. For example, I hear things like, “I don’t want somebody who works all the time,” or “I don’t want somebody who takes me for granted.” To better understand their mindset, I will reword the question to get an answer that focuses on what they would like in a soulmate, rather than what they don’t want. It turns out, the majority of those people have no idea what they want in a soulmate. Focusing on what you want instead of what you don’t want is extremely important, because what you focus on grows. Where your dominating thoughts are is what you will notice and will then manifest in your life.
Personal Values and Common Interests
The soulmate relationship is designed to be the most intimate and important. Many single people are so desperate to connect with somebody that they are willing to settle for someone they are physically attracted to and have chemistry with, overlooking their own personal values and what’s important to them. This is why it is extremely important to have a crystal-clear picture of your future soulmate, their values and interests, and what you would like your relationship to look like. What a person values and enjoys will determine the choices they make. So let’s get started!
I recommend journaling on a daily basis. Journaling daily creates intentional focus and trains your brain to see what you want and what is important to you.
Brainstorming activity: Brainstorm the ideal traits you would love in your soulmate, the activities that you can see yourself doing together, and five emotions you would like to feel while together. Traits can be physical, mental, career-focused, emotional, spiritual, and financial. Activities can range from walking on the beach or in your neighborhood, working out together, bike rides, cooking together, going out to eat, watching movies, saying goodbye as each of you goes off to work, and so on. Have fun brainstorming these as you get your imagination involved and learn how to visualize.
What are your non-negotiables? Go back to your traits and activities lists and circle the top eight to ten things in each that are non-negotiable. Be specific and mindful of your own! These qualities and interests should line up closely with your own values and interests for a healthy, happy, fulfilling relationship. The key is to intentionally focus on their traits and your activities together at the same time you are feeling the emotions on your list.
Journaling activity: I recommend journaling about three or more of the traits and three or more of the activities every day. The best way to journal these traits and activities is as if you are currently experiencing them. This retrains your brain for positive focusing, and your desired traits and activities eventually become your dominating thoughts. For example, focus on thoughts such as “I feel extremely loved and important as we sip wine and cook dinner together. I am grateful to be loved and respected by my partner.” Interestingly, your brain doesn’t know whether these things are actually happening or if they’re simply in your imagination. It is like truly experiencing it! This is how you can activate that RAS and attract the relationship of your dreams.
The people who cross your path will either fit or not. Your clarity will now be a guide to making wise decisions based on what is important to you. Making the right choices becomes simpler and manifestation begins to take place.
This is the first secret of my 52 Secrets for Singles program! I designed this program because of my passion to help others experience that happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship that I am blessed to experience after many years of being single. Are you ready for the systems, tools, and support that will guide you on your journey toward your soulmate? Your first step is to email me and set up a 30-minute phone call at RelationshipSecretsForSingles@gmail.com.
Dana Lee is a Certified Life Coach and owner of Relationship Secrets for Singles. If you’ve almost given up and need someone to help guide you, send me an email and we can set up a free online Zoom “Meet ‘N Greet” session to see if this program is right for you.