Time management is one of the hardest skills to master, especially in today’s world where we are constantly bombarded by things that distract us from the tasks at hand. But it is an essential technique that we need to maintain control over if we want to be successful in any endeavor. Without superior time management skills, we will waste countless hours with distractions and it will take us much longer to accomplish any goals we’ve set forth. Not to mention the fact that poor time management can lead to a lack of time to spend with family and friends or to participate in leisure activities, sports or hobbies.
It is amazing how quickly time flies by and it seems to go even faster if we do not have control over how we spend our time. Much of the problem lies in drawing the line between work and leisure time. In a recent coaching study, I read that couples spend an average of 12 minutes a day talking to each other and only 40 minutes a week playing with their children. The average American works 20% more today than in 1973 and has 32% less free time per week. What was really disturbing was that the study reported that 48% of 4,000 male executives saw their lives as empty and meaningless despite years of professional striving. What this tells me is that we are a nation of people with inadequate time management skills that are slowly working themselves to death.
So, what can we do? The first is to get your priorities straight and review your daily schedule. Where do you spend your time? What does a typical week look like? How many hours a week are you working versus playing or engaging in time with your friends and family? I hear many people say, “Oh, I have no time to exercise, to spend with my friends, to do anything for myself.” This is especially common amongst new mothers. Don’t confuse tough choices with no choices. Spending all of your time taking care of your house and your family will eventually leave you feeling neglected and frustrated. And this isn’t healthy for you – mom or not! We always have a choice because deciding to spend all your time focusing on others is still a choice.
One of the first things to do in determining if your time management skills are working for you or not is to find out where all of your time goes. You need to complete a weekly time chart. This is a great exercise in which you make a list of all of the things you do on a daily basis and how much time each of these activities takes up for one week. For example, you would list sleeping, preparing and eating meals, working and commuting, exercising, grooming, taking care of children, running errands, fun or leisure time, and whatever other duties take up your time. Your list might look like this on a daily basis.
6:00am Rise and exercise
6:30am Shower/dress
7:00am Prepare and eat breakfast
7:30am Commute to work
8:00am Work
12:00pm Lunch and errands
1:00pm Work
5:00pm Commute home and pick up kids
5:30pm Prepare and eat dinner
6:30pm Help kids with homework
7:30pm Get kids ready for bed
8:00pm Watch TV
9:30pm Bed
Count up the hours you spend on each activity throughout the week. For example, if you spend 7 hours a night sleeping, you would list: Sleep – 49 hours. Once you have done this for each activity, next list the top seven that take up the most time. Are these activities the most important to you? If so, you must be managing your time well. If not, then you may want to reevaluate your list and define new priorities. You may also want to create an absolute yes list, which means you list the things you definitely want to accomplish or participate in each week and then schedule those first in your calendar.
You have to schedule time for your life and the fun things you like to do. Otherwise, your schedule will control you versus the other way around. In coaching, we are taught to advocate a “sacred date night” for our clients. This means that you choose one night out of the week where you get to do whatever it is you love to do. It could be reading, seeing a movie, taking a bath, getting a massage or walking in nature, but it needs to be a solitary activity where you have some private time to yourself. I also advocate blocking out one day or half day each month for the entire year to participate in solitary activities, in addition to your sacred date night. It may be hard at first or seem selfish to take this time for yourself, but every single person that has done this has told me that they wish they’d started this ritual years ago. It will reduce stress, make you happier and in turn allow you to take better care of the ones you love. Slow down, take time for your life, practice extreme self-care and success will follow.