Many singles despise online dating. They don’t like how few people respond, all the texting and confusion when interested parties disappear. It’s not perfect but looking for love on the web is a useful tool when you know how to make the most of it.
Knowing what to expect and consider normal will make navigating easier. I’ve written this from a woman’s perspective, but most tips work for men too.
1. Write a Short Profile. The best profile is less than 300 words and doesn’t describe everything about you. It’s written conversationally, as if you were talking which makes it fun to read. Your profile has only one purpose – to get someone to send an email.
How do you write a captivating profile? Avoid lists, starting every sentence with “I” or talking about what you don’t want. Stay positive and share highlights about your life that a man would find interesting (think sports, history, jazz, hiking, etc.)
2. Post Great Photos. Your pictures are the first thing he sees so don’t post selfies. Choose flattering outfits that you’d wear on a dinner date. Feminine, form-fitting clothing will catch his eye, along with bright, solid colors, makeup and heels. Be alluring but not too sexy – you don’t want to send the wrong message. And, no kids, animals, or other people in the shots.
3. Reach Out to Men. Don’t rely on matches the dating sites send. Do your own search and contact 3-5 men when you get online. Send a short message that asks a question. If you’re on dating apps, don’t swipe right on 100 men. Try 20 and save some for the next session.
Don’t say, “I like your profile” or “We have so much in common.” Everyone says that! If you want a response, be engaging. For example, if a man likes hiking and you do too, say, “I see you like hiking – me too. What’s your favorite spot?” Keep exchanges short and use humor if possible.
4. Know What to Expect. Knowing what to expect will keep things real and prevent disappointment. Everyone gets a low response rate of 10 – 20% at the most. This is NORMAL. It’s also normal that people start out interested and then disappear. It’s not only happening to you. EVERYONE goes through this. Just keep at it to find love – it works for millions of people.
5. Get Clear on What You Want. Think about the kind of person you want. Are you looking for a kind, generous, and fun man? Maybe someone with an active, healthy lifestyle? Are faith and politics a must? What kind of relationship do you seek? What are your deal breakers? Be true to yourself or you could end up with a person who is not a good match.
6. Talk by Phone. You can learn a lot from a brief conversation. Listen to the sound of his voice and ease of conversation. Consider your comfort level with the person and if he seems confident. Even 15 minutes is enough to get a good idea if you want to meet.
7. Forget Long Distance Suitors. Finding a good match can take time, so don’t make it harder by considering someone from far away. Look for love locally to save yourself the heartbreak.
8. Cut Your Losses. Many singles text, but never meet. To avoid this, limit emailing and texting to seven days prior to meeting. If you haven’t met, suggest it! Send a message saying, “Emailing/texting is fun but, let’s meet to see if we have chemistry”.
If he makes excuses or is too busy, STOP communicating. He is NOT serious. That’s his way of saying you’ll never be his priority so let him go. (Guys, the same is true for evasive, unavailable women.)
9. Scammers and Safety. Unfortunately, there are people who will play with your head or want your money. Be wary of long distance matches, people from other countries and sadly, singles claiming to be in the military with crazy restrictions on communication. Obviously, don’t send anyone money. Get a new email address just for dating without your name. Guard your privacy by not revealing your last name, where you live or work for the first few dates. If your gut tells you something feels off, PAY ATTENTION! Your intuition is often valid.
10. Lift Your Energy. There are five elements that must align to find lasting love online. Your profile, photos, skill at interacting, activity level and your ENERGY! Before you get online, center yourself, imagine being with the right man and how wonderful that feels.
With the right mindset, you send out good vibes which come back to you! On the other hand, when you think online dating won’t work– you emit negativity. Uplift your energy before you reach out and your results will definitely improve! It’s hard to argue with the positive results and statistics that online dating delivers. Over 30% of relationships now start on the web including sites, apps and social media.
Dating Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan writes engaging online profiles that get noticed and portray the real you. Save 40% on a Digital Dating Makeover when you call (203-877-3777) and mention this article. Or get her free book to avoid common dating and texting mistakes women make at: https://nevertoolate.biz/text.