by Bernie Siegel, M.D.
Over God’s desk are three plaques. How do I know that? I am a consultant to the Board of Director’s of Heaven. The plaques read:
1.Don’t feel totally, irrevocably, eternally responsible for everything. That’s my job.
2. Everything you remember I forget. Everything you forget I remember.
3. If you go around saying I have a miserable life I’ll show you what miserable really is. If you go around saying I have a wonderful life I’ll show you what wonderful really is.
Remember you can change your attitude or your life. Either one works when you stop giving your power away. Other mottoes to live by which I have learned about are also helpful for surviving and thriving.
1. Enjoy yourself it’s later than you think. You and I are all here for a limited amount of time so why spend it being unhappy or resentful and bitter about what has happened or what some did to you. I don’t let other people’s actions rob me of my life’s time. So take some time off because time isn’t money…it is everything. Spend more time with the people and things you love and less time with the things and people you don’t love and who don’t love you.
2. This too shall pass. Yes, we will recover and life will go on and we’ll be telling stories about it in the future to our children and grandchildren. So learn from your problems and let them teach you how to nurture yourself and your life the way hunger leads you to seek nourishment. Life goes on so behave like a survivor and help those less fortunate than you. Volunteers and lovers live longer healthier lives.
3. Troubles and difficulties are God’s redirections and something good will come from them. Norman Vincent Peale told me his mother always said, “Norman, if God closes one door, further down the corridor another will be open.”
And a country western song says if all the doors are shut look for an open window. Yes, that is survival behavior because it opens you to the possibilities which can occur and I have seen it happen in my life too. So whether related to a disease or an event I don’t start creating a terrible future in my mind. I live for today and create my future and make my own weather.
4. Thank you for everything, I have no complaint whatsoever. I have discussed this previously so just live it.
I hope some of the above is helpful to you and most of all repeat them to your children because they need to be given mottoes to live by and put into a hypnotic trance which is life enhancing and not destructive. When all we tell our children is how terrible and unfair life is they will live that message, but when it becomes a gift to them and they find happiness they live a successful, creative and joyful life.
When I ask an audience, “Is life fair?” They all yell “No!”
I respond, “It must be fair. You’re all complaining.” Yes, it is fair but as I said it is also difficult. So prepare your kids for difficulties. There are psychological genetics too. Meaning if you give your children no resources to survive by they will lead a tragic life. But if you teach them how to deal with adversity they will have resources when tough times come. The will to live is a powerful force when one’s life is threatened.
Bernie holds a support group in Simsbury at Wisdom of the Ages the first Wednesday of each month from 7-9pm. Wisdom of the Ages, a special place to nurture your spiritual side. It’s filled with items to calm the mind, heal the body & empower your spirit. They also provide massages & monthly meditation classes. Wisdom of the Ages is owned by Bernie’s son & daugh- ter- in-law, Keith & Jane Siegel. Located at 1408 Hopmeadow St. Simsbury. Please call for info or to register for Bernie’s group. (860) 651-1172, www. wisdomoftheages.biz, berniesiegelmd.com. See ad on page 40. Bernie also runs a Woodbridge Support Group which meets the Second and Fourth Tuesday evenings of each month at Coachman’s Square, Bradley Road, Woodbridge, CT. Contact: Lucille Ranciato at 203-288-2839 or email her at [email protected].