A while ago I did something really nice for my wife and took all the groceries out of the car and put them away when she came home from shopping. When she came into the kitchen she said, “You don’t put tomatoes in the refrigerator.” Not a word of thanks just criticism. My reaction was to write a poem entitled, “Divorce”, and read it to her. She laughed when I was done and I love her when she laughs so I fired the divorce lawyer and took the tomatoes out of the fridge. She is great at changing people’s attitudes and behavior. When I get loud she says, “You’re upsetting the animals.” This has nothing to do with my problem but gets me to smile and stop scaring our four cats and two dogs. When we go to the doctor she always greets the doctor with a comment about how handsome or lovely they look. It stops them cold and they smile and their reaction changes immediately. I want all of you to feel free to use her techniques with anyone you meet. When I talk about contributing love to the world, do it in your own style and not what parents or other authorities have imposed upon you. If we don’t enjoy the day and can’t smile, how will we ever survive? But is your smile a real one or put on to make others happy; while you feel anything but the desire to truly smile. I see this in the drawings that seriously ill people create. I find things to smile about because I know life is an adventure and lord knows what is coming tomorrow. When I answer, “Better,” to the question, “how are you?” people always want to know what’s wrong. I say, “Nothing’s wrong,” I’m just getting better. I know we are all wounded and when asked how I am, I typically answer, “Depressed, out of my anti-depressant and my doctor is away on vacation.” Then everyone offers me their anti-depressants and tells me their troubles. Try it if you think I’m kidding. We then help each other to heal. I refuse to stop smiling. I don’t think anyone would come back from their grave and say, “Get serious.” I do think they would come back and say, “Lighten up.” In Heaven, where I am an outside consultant, the most frequent question is, “Why was I so serious back there?” On earth the most frequent question is, “Where’s the bathroom?” So practice being childlike and smile. Next time you see a sign that says, “Wet Floor” do it. When asked to sign here, write “Here” on the paper. You will be excused when people realize you are not in touch with reality. Let a smile be your umbrella and protect you from the rain of fear and despair. Laughter is therapeutic. Cancer patients with a sense of humor live longer. Stop reading this article and laugh for no reason for a minute or two. How do you feel now? And did the people around you start laughing too? Yes! As Woody Allen said, “Life is full of loneliness, unhappiness and suffering. And it’s all over much too quickly.” So your assignment for the week is to watch the movie Harold and Maude and act as if you are the person you want to be. Life is about rehearsing and practicing and that’s why you are given so much time.
Submitted by Bernie Siegel, MD. Bernie currently has a mind, heart & health matters support group for those in need and for caregivers support group the first Wednesday evening of every month and a cancer support group the second and fourth Tuesday evenings of the month at Coachman’s Square on Bradley Road, Woodbridge. If interested contact Lucille Ranciato [email protected] (203) 288-2839 (203)288-2839 or email Bernie at [email protected] for details.